WHAT HAPPENS NOW?
Surely it’s not another cold? Could it be asthma? Or what about hayfever? Whatever it is, you seem to be coughing, sneezing and wheezing all over the place. Come to think of it, your skin is itchy and bumpy too.
You carry nervous tension around with you all day. Things you would normally just brush off wriggle away in your mind. You wish you could just stop fretting and feel normal again.
A sudden sneeze sneaks up on you and oh great… you’ve weed yourself a bit. Same goes for a spontaneous laugh, when you lift anything heavy or try to jump up and down (no trampolining for you today my love).
You’ve eaten lunch and BAM! Your belly’s puffed up and it’s really, really uncomfortable. You know you need to unbutton your trousers... but Angela from Accounts is sitting right next to you.
Is that smell you or someone else? You are a bit sweaty under your arms and down there...Wasn’t BO supposed to do one after our teens? Why’s it decided to come back with a vengeance now?
You used to pride yourself on your memory – but too often these days you forget what you only remembered five minutes ago. Thoughts can escape you midsentence. New information just won’t sink in.
Perhaps you used to pride yourself on your long, strong talons or maybe never thought about your nails at all. But recently, there’s been a change. Now, your nails are dry and flaky, and when they get a little longer, they bend.
BURNING MOUTH SYNDROME
Feel like someone’s shoved a ghost chilli into your chops while you weren’t looking? Or like you drank your tea too soon, only you’re not actually drinking tea?
CHANGES IN SEX DRIVE
For some women, the menopause is an incredibly liberating time when it comes to sex. But for many, their sex drive has got up and left the building.
OK, so you had prepared yourself for hot flushes, mood swings and brain fog… but no-one warned you that your mouth might suffer in the menopause. Bleeding gums, tooth decay, bone loss in your jaw? They’re nothing to smile about.
You’re not just sad. This is worse than that. It’s like someone’s sucked the colour out of life. The things you used to enjoy don’t give you pleasure anymore. Getting up in the morning feels like a battle. The world feels dark.
Fed up of standing up and immediately feeling like you’re going to fall over? These wibbly, wobbly, weak moments seem to have come out of nowhere. Is this a normal part of getting older?